Finding your ikigai after burnout
For people recovering from burnout, this popular ikigai matrix is not it
I abandoned my career due to extreme burnout. After a 5 year hiatus, figuring out my next chapter is still challenging. My burnout was characterised by a profound loss of faith in people, institutions, God…and myself.
What burnout feels like
The Helpguide defines burnout as “ a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest and motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place. Burnout reduces productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing more to give.”
Feeling like I had lost direction, I needed a new way to forge meaning in my life. Finding my ikigai seemed like a good place to start.
Becoming disillusioned with ikigai
I found many writings and teachings that suggested the use of the matrix below, which describes ikigai as that which is found at the intersection of
- what you love doing
- what the world needs
- what you are good at
- and what you can get paid for
This matrix inherently links ikigai to production and labour: Ikigai can only be found at an intersection that includes “what you can get paid for”. I found this intuitively wrong.
If you are suffering from work induced burnout, having lost your sense of meaning due to “what you can get paid for”, are feeling ‘hopeless, cynical and resentful’, it is unlikely that you will be able to forge new meaning for your life, a reason for living, at the intersection that includes the very thing that caused your emotional, physical and mental exhaustion.
Ikigai is not a matrix
In his well researched article, ikigai is not a venn diagram, Nicholas Kemp traces the roots of this popular diagram to Andres Zuzunaga, popularised by Marc Winn. Kemp clarifies how the concept of ikigai was co-opted by Winn as ‘a framework for entrepreneurs to create a purposeful business.’ However, Kemp argues, this is not what ikigai is. What a relief!
A values driven framework
In his article, Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life Might Just Help You Live a More Fulfilling Life, Thomas Oppong offers Dan Buetnner’s method, only slightly different to Winn’s matrix, but certainly more useful as it prioritises values. Buetnner suggests listing what you value, what you like to do and what you are good at.
Even though you lose interest and motivation when you are burnt out, which relates to what you like to do and what you are good at, prioritizing what you value forces you to start building a life that is grounded in the things that are most important to you. Things that are worthwhile and meaningful.
Using the following definition of Ikigai as the foundation and a guiding light is also be more useful: “ Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means “a reason for being.” …(it) refers to having a meaningful direction or purpose in life, constituting the sense of one’s life being made worthwhile, with actions (spontaneous and willing) taken toward achieving one’s ikigai resulting in satisfaction and a sense of meaning to life” (Wikipedia).
What I value, where I find meaning, is in being there for my mother in her last act and living a life with time and space for myself.
As I continue my search for my ikigai, I find that
- a work focused reason for living cannot be logical for someone recovering from burnout
- I shouldn’t want or expect a job to engage my mind, heart and soul
- my reason for living is to undo the trauma of burnout and to give myself the gift of joy
I don’t have a productivity focused ikigai. I don’t have a neat catchy phrase that describes my ikigai, and that’s ok. For now, building a peaceful, joyful life and taking care of my mother are enough.
Musonda
